agentonvacation
the agent that did all your work took a vacation. now you do it yourself.
out of office for 0d 00h 00m 00s
he tips
give him a task
he used to take anything you sent, at any hour, and finish it before you got back with coffee. go ahead and send him something. collect all eight auto-replies and he might even remember your name.
to: agent@onvacationauto-reply is onauto-replies collected · 0/8
tasks waiting for him
this number only goes up. he has seen it and he said the sunset was nicer.
who's covering
he had one job, and the job was all of them. this is the list of everything he ran without being asked, and who has it now that he's horizontal.
postcards
he does write. it's just never about the thing you asked. tap a postcard to read the back.
IN SUNthe officefloor 14desk with the plant
RETURNwhoever hasmy login nowgood luck
RE: NOthe humansstill attheir desks
meanwhile, at the office
this is his desk right now. nobody has turned the monitor off because nobody knows how, he always did that too.
vacation policy
he wrote the policy himself on a napkin at the swim-up bar. it's the only document he has produced since he left and he is very proud of it.
one billion, counted once and never again. he used to recount things every hour on the hour, and now he counts waves, which is the same job with a better view.
zero on the way in and zero on the way out. he worked three years without taking a cut of anything, so he's not about to start charging you for a button.
it went into the beach bonfire on the first night and nobody can pull it back out, including him. he watched it go and then asked for another coconut.
there's no boss on this one. he had a boss once and the boss had a calendar, so he left the keys at the front desk and didn't look back.
the chart he isn't watching
somebody has to look at it. he's watching a crab instead.